¨well done my good and faithful servant¨. -Matthew 25

Something I worry about a lot is if my life will follow the plan that God has for me. When I think about the future, that is what I want. Because I know that God has a great plan for my life, and also for your life. I know that God wants us to know him, and to love him. And also wants us to love others. I know that because Jesus says those are the two greatest commands: To love God with everything we have, and to love others. And I think that if I am wanting to follow Gods plan for my life, then I need that love. Because 1 Corinthians 13 says that I can do all sorts of work (including giving all I possess to the poor, and even being so gifted that I understand all mystery and all knowledge), but if I do not have love, then I am nothing. And not only that, but I can have faith, but without love, I am nothing.

And so I need love. My understanding is that without love, I can not be of much use to God. I guess that makes sense, because we should follow Christs example, and I know that he loves us a lot, because he even died for our sin, and only God knows the suffering that he went through.

You know, right now if I died, I know I would not be able to look God in the eye when I stood face to face with him. And I want that to change. And that is my prayer. When I die, and stand before God, I want him to say to me ¨well done my good and faithful servant¨. Those words would be music to my ears. But I am sure afraid that he won´t say that to me.

Here is my prayer: That God gives me a broken and compassionate heart. That I (and my wife) can do everything that God wants us to do, and complete the mission that he has for us. Oh how wonderful would that be!, to complete the mission that God has for me. I really want that. Because I am only here in this world for a short time, and when I die and begin my life in eternity, I don´t want to look back and think ¨I sure wish that things had been different, and would have had more love, and God could have used me in any and every way that he wanted¨. Here is what I want to be able to say, in the words of the Apostle Paul: ¨I have fought the good fight¨. He also said ¨I have kept the faith¨. Oh to be one of those that keep the faith, and fight the good fight. Paul went through beatings (once people thought they had stoned him to death, but he lived through it) He was shipwrecked I don´t remember how many times. He was cursed, and hated. He was put in prison, and although how he died is not recorded in the Bible, other writings say that he was killed in Rome. God wanted Paul to teach the non-Jewish people about Jesus Christ. That was his mission, and during his mission he went through all sorts of suffering. But I believe that Paul had learned to have joy in all situations. To be able to be content even when he was hungry, or without enough clothing, or in prison. I believe that all he needed was God. That was enough for him. And I hope that God makes me into one of those Christians.

You know I hear about Christians that are killed for their faith, and go through persecution that is so horrible. But it seems to me that those things are happening to the Christians that are refusing to compromise. They are not giving into the pressure and threats of the world, but they stay strong, and continue to do what God has for them to do. And many are persecuted and killed for that. If someone pointed a machine gun at me, and asked me if I believed in Jesus, what would I say? I could lie, and that might save my life, or I could say that I believe in Jesus, and be killed. And so many Christians have chosen to say yes, they believe in Jesus. They would rather die than to deny that they believe in Christ. Those are Christians that refuse to compromise, even if it means that they will lose their life. But like I have heard before from my good friend Jim, ¨the best thing that can happen to a Christian is to die¨. Matthew 10:28 says to not be afraid of those that can kill the body, but cannot kill the soul. I think that a lot of Christians have assurance of their salvation, and also have so much love for Jesus Christ that they are not afraid to die. And not only are they not afraid, but they wish for the day when they will die, and go to be with Christ.

But to be honest, I don´t want to be killed because of my faith, and for doing the work that God has for me to do. I don´t want to be persecuted, or to suffer. If I had it my way, I would skip all those things. But Jesus says that because he is hated, we also will be hated. And the Bible says that we must suffer like Christ suffered, so we can have glory like Christ has glory. And the Bible says to rejoice in our sufferings, because God uses our sufferings for good, and to change us, and make us more Christ-like.

But those sufferings I would rather skip. I wish that God could change me, without me having to go through any type of suffering. And when I say suffering, I don´t mean just the things that I mentioned about Paul. There is all sorts of different things. How about health problems, or watching a loved one suffer, or die. Or having difficulties at work, or at school, or even difficulties at home, and in a marriage. But God can use everything for our good. Although it is difficult, God can use it to actually help us.

The other day something happened that was really hard. And I know that God disciplined me. But God does not discipline like an abusive father, but like a loving one. And I know, because after he disciplined me, he comforted me. And I needed his comfort because I felt so guilty, and was really upset.

Our God is very good.

But here is a question that I have been asking myself. How can I follow in the path that God has for me? I know people have all sorts of answers for that. But I only have one, because I honestly don´t think I can accomplish it myself. I think that all I can do is pray. I pray that God accomplishes his plan for my life. I want to live a life of love, and helping others. I don´t want to live a life of being selfish, because I have done enough of that in the past. But I know that God hears my prayers. And I know that God can make me into a good servant. So if God has to take me through difficulties, and sufferings to make me into a good servant, then that is ok. I´m not saying I will enjoy it, but it is worth it. And I want Gods discipline. To be honest, I remember times that God disciplined me (and I actually recognized that it was his discipline) , and I have good memories of them :) That may sound weird, but it shows how loving is God, because he even disciplines us with love. The discipline of an abusive father will hurt his relationship with his child. But I know that God is a loving father, and I believe that his discipline has brought me closer to him.

So my answer is prayer. To pray that God uses my life however he wishes, and that he can use my life to accomplish whatever he wants, and to help whoever he wants. May God make me humble, and loving, and follow the path that he has for me. One thing I know for certain, I will never be a lone, because God is with me. Whatever difficulties or suffering is ahead of me, God will not leave me. He will be with me to guide me, and help me. Nothing can happen to me that God does not allow. God is our strength, and our comforter. He is very good.

p.s.... a special thanks to God for teaching me about the importance of love, and giving me the words to write this post.