Very Blessed

I wanted to write a post about my family. I feel very blessed to have the family that I do. Both on my mothers side, and my fathers side. I have so many good memories.

So many people grow up in very dysfunctional families. Many parents do not even care much about their children, and also a lot of kids grow up without having parents.

But I am very blessed because I have great parents, and I think that I come from a wonderful family.

I remember going to Grandpa & Grandma Fords house in Jetmore, or going to Ponca City to my Uncle & Aunt McGaughey´s house. We would have so much fun. When I found out that I would be seeing my cousins, I was so excited!

I remember when we were just kids, and Grandpa Allen came and picked up me and my brother Paul to take us somewhere. I think we might have been going to their house, but can´t remember. But I immediately got homesick. I had a packback or something, and found a note from my sister Rhonda telling me goodbye (can´t remember exactly what it said), and that is all I could handle... the tears started coming.

I remember going camping at Scott park with my family, and going to Sun n´Fun in Ponca City.

I remember my Grandmas chocolate pies :)

I remember the wrestling matches I had with my Dad and brother. We would have to move the furniture out of the way. I can remember my mom yelling ¨take it outside!¨.

I remember our dog Jack and also the dog we had before him.. Freckles. Such good little dogs!

I remember one of my cousins taking the poop out of his diaper, and wiping it on his parents sliding glass window. (I won´t name names on this one, but I don´t think most have forgotten about that)

I remember going camping with Linda & Rory, and riding on one of those 2 person bikes with Mikaela. That was fun!

I remember when I was a kid, and riding in a car with my dad, and him talking about God, or a story from the Bible, and how much I enjoyed that.

I remember Mom picking us up from school, and taking us to get a pop or a candy bar from Ron´s market.

I remember asking my Dad to take me driving, or to play catch with me, and he always had time for me.

I remember when I was young, and being rocked to sleep in a chair by my mom. I don´t know how old I was, but I must not have been too old.

I remember going to that resort in Colorado (fun valley), and racing Ernie and my brother up the mountain. Also remember eating the trout (think it was trout) that Ernie and Devin had caught, and it was delicious.

I remember toilet papering the inside of my Aunt & Uncle´s house while they were on vacation. Even my Grandmother was in on that one. We may have made it away stock free, but I think my brother left a note, and he signed it! :) My Grandma was then ¨interrogated¨ about the incident. :)

I remember going to Aunt & Uncle Michael´s house, and the go carts and horses that they had.

I remember walking down to the sandpit, and fishing for bluegill, and forgot the name of that other small fish. I would do that with my brother, and our friends.

I remember re-shingling our roof at our house in Holcomb. I think all of us helped with that. We did it in the middle of the summer, and it was so hot! But we did a good job.

I remember when my cousins Tiffany and Melissa were little, and it was so hard to tell them apart (they are twins).

I remember getting homesick after leaving home, and driving to attend college at MidAmerica.

I remember Grandpa Allen taking us golfing, and letting me drive the golf cart.

I remember when Mallory was just a baby, and my mother was taking care of her for a day or two. And then my mom had to leave to pick up something from the quick shop or something, and I got to take care of her! That lasted for about 10 minutes until lots of family showed up. But then I moved to Alaska, and I missed seeing little Mallory :(

I remember when the McGaugheys cat jumped out of the boat while we were going to the lake, and ran, and got in a tree. I think thats the same cat that likes to sleep in their bathroom sink? So it slept in the wrong places, because I think it was sleeping under the tarp in the boat, and it got scared when we were going down the highway, and jumped out. Jim lifted me up, and I had to grab the cat! I was glad to not get bit.

I remember backpacking in the Olympic Wilderness in Washington with my brother, and how beautiful that was.

I remember going from house to house with Travis and Jason, and looking in the window wells with them, trying to find any snakes or frogs.

I remember hunting with Ernie & Devin, and missing I think every bird I shot at. But I enjoyed it! I also remember riding dirtbikes with Devin, and I tried showing off for some people, and popped a wheelie, and flipped it over backwards, and took a bunch of skin off my back. Oh those nexts days were so painful!

Speaking of showing off, I remember jumping on the trampoline with I think Devin and McKinsey, and I told them to go to the side and sit down, and I would show them my 1 1/2 backflip. (I hadn´t perfected it yet). Its where you do a backflip, then then land on your back, instead of feet. And so I did that, but I did not land in the middle of the mat, but instead my head landed on the side where the bar is (but fortunately they had pads on top of the bars). I almost knocked myself out. I remember walking, and feeling like I was going to pass out, but I didn´t. McKinsey ran inside, and told those inside that I just had an accident. I had split the back of my head open, and my mom had to take me to the emergency room to get switches. So basicly... I teach kids safety by showing them what NOT to do.

I remember many things that my parents did for me, and it really softens my heart when I think about things that they have done for me. I remember when my parents bought me a new dirtbike. I think I was sick, and I couldn´t go, but my dad went to Nebraska to pick it up, because the new ones weren´t in that part of Kansas yet. They wanted to do that for me, and to get me a new one, and when I think back on that, it really is very special to me. When I think about that, it is humbling.

I wish everyone could have the parents and family that I have.

And God has not stopped blessing me, and it amazes me, because I don´t deserve it.

I am now married to a woman that is more beautiful and special than I ever imagined that I would marry. I am amazed that I am her husband, because she is so special. And now my family has doubled. Her family is now my family, and Eliana also comes from a great family. My Parents, and Warene will tell you that. And Eliana and I will soon have a child. Really we already have a child, but just hasn´t been born yet. And when I think back, and remember all these memories, it makes me want to be a good father, and that he/she can have a life as blessed as mine and Elianas.

And so to my wife, and parents, brother, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, nieces... and everyone else I may have missed... thanks for being so great, and for all the memories you have given me.

5 months is coming soon.

This week will be 19 weeks and then soon 20 weeks and that will make me 5 months pregnant. I think about this and I'm very excited because time passes so quickly and within 4 months, God will grant us to take the baby in our arms.

Tim and I were thinking and talking about things that the baby needs when he/she is born and we are so happy to think about it.

To think that our lives will change soon in a special and wonderful way is a sensation that can not be described with words, but you who are parents understand what I mean.

One of the things we think about is the times we will get ready to go to the church. Tim and I think about when the baby is born and it will not be just the two of us, because the baby will be with us and then we will have to get the baby ready and bring with us everything that the baby needs and we also have to get ready. And then when the 3 of us are ready, we can head to the church. That is something we like to think about.

It's so beautiful to think about a child. It´s really a great blessing that God gives to us and we are so thankful to God for this beautiful blessing that is coming and will soon be in our hands.

This weekend, I began to feel the baby moving more, and it's really amazing when I feel the baby moving. When I see my tummy in the mirror I am surprised at how different it is, and Tim said, the baby is growing :) My tummy is really not that big, but it's nice to know that our baby is growing and soon will grow more and more :).

I think that God is preparing me to be a mom. I wake up every morning and I can touch my tummy and think about the baby. I begin to feel a strange feeling but it's a very beautiful feeling and I know that God is preparing me. One of my prayers is about a promise that is in the Bible, and is in Psalms 128:3...

"Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table.." NIV

Also it says says in Proverbs 14:1:

¨The wise woman builds her house.¨ NIV

I know that only God can do these things in a woman, and I wish very much that he does this in me. Really he is the vine and it is him that can make us righteous, and I wish very much that he is forming my life to his character and making me into a reflection of his love. That is something that when I think about, my heart starts to burn and I want much more of Christ.

I believe that God has begun to teach me about things that before I did not know. This is a new stage in my life and is a great blessing and I am very grateful to him for all his love and mercy.

¨well done my good and faithful servant¨. -Matthew 25

Something I worry about a lot is if my life will follow the plan that God has for me. When I think about the future, that is what I want. Because I know that God has a great plan for my life, and also for your life. I know that God wants us to know him, and to love him. And also wants us to love others. I know that because Jesus says those are the two greatest commands: To love God with everything we have, and to love others. And I think that if I am wanting to follow Gods plan for my life, then I need that love. Because 1 Corinthians 13 says that I can do all sorts of work (including giving all I possess to the poor, and even being so gifted that I understand all mystery and all knowledge), but if I do not have love, then I am nothing. And not only that, but I can have faith, but without love, I am nothing.

And so I need love. My understanding is that without love, I can not be of much use to God. I guess that makes sense, because we should follow Christs example, and I know that he loves us a lot, because he even died for our sin, and only God knows the suffering that he went through.

You know, right now if I died, I know I would not be able to look God in the eye when I stood face to face with him. And I want that to change. And that is my prayer. When I die, and stand before God, I want him to say to me ¨well done my good and faithful servant¨. Those words would be music to my ears. But I am sure afraid that he won´t say that to me.

Here is my prayer: That God gives me a broken and compassionate heart. That I (and my wife) can do everything that God wants us to do, and complete the mission that he has for us. Oh how wonderful would that be!, to complete the mission that God has for me. I really want that. Because I am only here in this world for a short time, and when I die and begin my life in eternity, I don´t want to look back and think ¨I sure wish that things had been different, and would have had more love, and God could have used me in any and every way that he wanted¨. Here is what I want to be able to say, in the words of the Apostle Paul: ¨I have fought the good fight¨. He also said ¨I have kept the faith¨. Oh to be one of those that keep the faith, and fight the good fight. Paul went through beatings (once people thought they had stoned him to death, but he lived through it) He was shipwrecked I don´t remember how many times. He was cursed, and hated. He was put in prison, and although how he died is not recorded in the Bible, other writings say that he was killed in Rome. God wanted Paul to teach the non-Jewish people about Jesus Christ. That was his mission, and during his mission he went through all sorts of suffering. But I believe that Paul had learned to have joy in all situations. To be able to be content even when he was hungry, or without enough clothing, or in prison. I believe that all he needed was God. That was enough for him. And I hope that God makes me into one of those Christians.

You know I hear about Christians that are killed for their faith, and go through persecution that is so horrible. But it seems to me that those things are happening to the Christians that are refusing to compromise. They are not giving into the pressure and threats of the world, but they stay strong, and continue to do what God has for them to do. And many are persecuted and killed for that. If someone pointed a machine gun at me, and asked me if I believed in Jesus, what would I say? I could lie, and that might save my life, or I could say that I believe in Jesus, and be killed. And so many Christians have chosen to say yes, they believe in Jesus. They would rather die than to deny that they believe in Christ. Those are Christians that refuse to compromise, even if it means that they will lose their life. But like I have heard before from my good friend Jim, ¨the best thing that can happen to a Christian is to die¨. Matthew 10:28 says to not be afraid of those that can kill the body, but cannot kill the soul. I think that a lot of Christians have assurance of their salvation, and also have so much love for Jesus Christ that they are not afraid to die. And not only are they not afraid, but they wish for the day when they will die, and go to be with Christ.

But to be honest, I don´t want to be killed because of my faith, and for doing the work that God has for me to do. I don´t want to be persecuted, or to suffer. If I had it my way, I would skip all those things. But Jesus says that because he is hated, we also will be hated. And the Bible says that we must suffer like Christ suffered, so we can have glory like Christ has glory. And the Bible says to rejoice in our sufferings, because God uses our sufferings for good, and to change us, and make us more Christ-like.

But those sufferings I would rather skip. I wish that God could change me, without me having to go through any type of suffering. And when I say suffering, I don´t mean just the things that I mentioned about Paul. There is all sorts of different things. How about health problems, or watching a loved one suffer, or die. Or having difficulties at work, or at school, or even difficulties at home, and in a marriage. But God can use everything for our good. Although it is difficult, God can use it to actually help us.

The other day something happened that was really hard. And I know that God disciplined me. But God does not discipline like an abusive father, but like a loving one. And I know, because after he disciplined me, he comforted me. And I needed his comfort because I felt so guilty, and was really upset.

Our God is very good.

But here is a question that I have been asking myself. How can I follow in the path that God has for me? I know people have all sorts of answers for that. But I only have one, because I honestly don´t think I can accomplish it myself. I think that all I can do is pray. I pray that God accomplishes his plan for my life. I want to live a life of love, and helping others. I don´t want to live a life of being selfish, because I have done enough of that in the past. But I know that God hears my prayers. And I know that God can make me into a good servant. So if God has to take me through difficulties, and sufferings to make me into a good servant, then that is ok. I´m not saying I will enjoy it, but it is worth it. And I want Gods discipline. To be honest, I remember times that God disciplined me (and I actually recognized that it was his discipline) , and I have good memories of them :) That may sound weird, but it shows how loving is God, because he even disciplines us with love. The discipline of an abusive father will hurt his relationship with his child. But I know that God is a loving father, and I believe that his discipline has brought me closer to him.

So my answer is prayer. To pray that God uses my life however he wishes, and that he can use my life to accomplish whatever he wants, and to help whoever he wants. May God make me humble, and loving, and follow the path that he has for me. One thing I know for certain, I will never be a lone, because God is with me. Whatever difficulties or suffering is ahead of me, God will not leave me. He will be with me to guide me, and help me. Nothing can happen to me that God does not allow. God is our strength, and our comforter. He is very good.

p.s.... a special thanks to God for teaching me about the importance of love, and giving me the words to write this post.

4 months

The time passes quickly. Now the baby is a little bigger. At the last ultrasound, the doctor told us that the baby is doing fine. In July, Tim and I want to know if the baby is a girl or boy. But we have to wait atleast another month when the baby is bigger. Now I am feeling better. Some days I like to eat particular foods, especially fruit. But I don´t have the nausea after the meals anymore :)
I have a photo. I hope that you have a day calm and full of blessings.

A photo

Here is an updated photo.

Can you believe how big my belly is?

Actually my belly is not so big, but I think my sister Katherine can´t wait to see me that big, because she gave me a coffee cup with this picture on it. She told me that when she saw it in the store, she thought it looked just like me, and that she had to purchase it immediately. I really don´t understand how my sister thinks I am identical to the picture, especially because the drawing does not have much hair, and has skinny legs, and one foot is bigger than the other. It was really a very funny gift for all my family, myself, and my husband.

And I am so surprised to think that I am similar to the drawing.

The baby is growing!

Today in the morning before going to church, my mother looked at me and said ¨your belly is bigger¨. I smiled and said ¨yes, it is bigger¨.

After the meeting at the church, a young woman approached me. She was very happy and smiling and said, ¨your tummy is growing¨. And so I said ¨yes, it is true, the baby is getting bigger¨.

And then I went to my brother Paul´s house to help fix his computer, and he said to me, ¨oh!, your belly is bigger¨. And I told him, ¨yes, the baby is growing¨.
When I got home and we were having lunch, my sisters fiance Gustavo said ¨your belly is bigger!¨. I smiled and said, ¨yes, the baby is growing¨.

And my sister Katherine says to me, ¨your tummy is bigger!¨. I think possibly that for many days, or even more months, people will be telling me enthusiastically, ¨oh, your belly is bigger!¨.

And I like to hear it, because it reminds me that the baby is growing.

Maria Sue Chapman

If you have never heard of Steven Curtis Chapman, he is a famous christian singer/songwriter. He and his wife have six children, and the three youngest are all girls adopted from China.
From what I understand, Wednesday, the family was making preparations because, in just a few hours, they would be hosting a graduation celebration at the house for one of the oldest sons. The youngest daughter Maria (age 5) was in the driveway, and was accidently hit by a vehicle driven by an older teenage brother. She died wednesday night after being LifeFlighted. I know the family needs prayers, and I think especially for that son that was driving the vehicle. I am sure he feels that his sisters death is his fault, although it was an accident.
Below is a short video that Steven had made for an adoption blog. He is singing a song that his two youngest daughters had inspired him to write. I don´t know when he made the video, but it was before the accident happened. I think this song shows how God had been preparing Steven and his wife for this tragedy.

Here are the lyrics:

She spins and she sways to whatever song plays,
Without a care in the world.
And I'm sittin' here wearin' the weight of the world on my shoulders.
It's been a long day and there's still work to do,
She's pulling at me saying "Dad I need you!
There's a ball at the castle and I've been invited and I need to practice my dancin'"
"Oh please, daddy, please!"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh I will dance with Cinderella
I don't wanna miss even one song,
Cuz all to soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I'd approve of a dress
She says "Dad, the prom is just one week away,
And I need to practice my dancin'"
"Oh please, daddy, please!"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Ohh-oh ohh-oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't wanna miss even one song,
Cuz all to soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

Well, she came home today
With a ring on her hand
Just glowin' and tellin' us all they had planned
She says "Dad, the wedding's due six months away
And I need to practice my dancin'"
"Oh please, daddy please!"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Ohh-oh ohh-oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't wanna miss even one song,
(even one song)
Cuz all to soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone



The second video has Maria in it. She is such a sweet and precious little girl.

A trailer for the movie ¨Most¨.

From the producer of ¨The Passion of the Christ¨, comes this short film, ¨Most¨. All I can say after watching some trailers for this movie, is that it is absolutely incredible. An incredible story with a life changing message. I believe the movie is a little more than 30 minutes, and you can buy the DVD for $9.99 at http://mostthemovie.com/ (I haven´t seen the full film yet, but I REALLY want to)
And now, be ready to be moved, because here is the trailer:

Soldier Comes Home and Surprises Son.

Facing The Giants

The other night we watched Facing The Giants on DVD. What a wonderful movie! It is a Christian film, and on a scale of 1 to 10, I would give it a 10. It is a movie about a high school football team. In the movie, one of the things that the coach says is ¨whether we win or lose, we will give praise to God¨. So why I liked it so much is because it is not just another movie about an underdog team, but it is about God using this coach and team for His glory.
The movie is rated PG.

"As a coach, you always have that little block of doubt, insecurities, especially when things aren't going well. You hear people talking about you, you see boosters getting together. That hurts. On the outside, you have to be up, but on the inside, there's always a block of insecurity, a speck of a lack of confidence. That part of the movie was so real. And then seeing the coach turn to God, turn to the Bible to work through that. I could relate to that so much."
- Coach Dickey Nutt

How is your prayer life?

If your anything like me, then it is not good. I know there have been so many times I thought that God may be wanting me to stop what I was doing, and go to an empty room, and pray. And almost all of those times I ignored it, and continued to do what I wanted to do. Prayer is not easy for me. I think that satan has fought against my prayer life, and done a lot of damage. Often I feel guilty, and the last thing I want to do is to approach our Holy God. So all of you out there, know that you are not a lone. Countless Christians struggle with this. I think that the more I know Christ and love Him; the easier it is to pray to Him. A persons sinful nature fights against prayer. It is God who draws us to pray. Now I am beginning to realize the importance of prayer. Not to pray only for Gods blessing, but to pray for Christ Himself. To pray because we want to know Christ more, and to be transformed into His image. Truly we are nothing without Christ. Often I try to serve God when my prayer life is nothing. And my work is worthless! I do nothing good, because God is not in control of me.

Please read below. It is part of a speech that David Wilkerson spoke in 1982. Click here for the full speech. I know he is truly a man of God, and he practices what he preaches.

¨Our Savior, who has the care and concern for multiplied universes, has the time to pray just for you! He takes the time to intercede for you before the throne of God (Heb. 7:25), and you say you do not have time to pray to Him!

We work feverishly for a Christ we ignore. We will go anywhere, do anything, in His name. But we will not pray. We will sing in a choir. We will visit the sick and the prisoners. But we will not pray. We will counsel the hurt and needy; we will stay up all night to comfort a friend, but we will not pray. We will fight corruption! We will crusade for morality! We will stand up against nuclear weapons! But we will not pray!

Most of all, we don't pray because we really don't believe it works. Prayer is a bloody battleground! It is where victories are won! A place to die to self! A place where a holy God exposes secret sin! No wonder Satan tries to hinder prayer! A praying man sends a shudder through hell. That man or woman is marked because Satan knows prayer is the power that crushes his kingdom. Satan is not afraid of power-hungry saints, but he trembles at the sound of a praying saint!¨

Brian Welch, former lead guitarist for the rock band Korn.

ultrasound results

Yesterday, Tim and I went to the doctor to have an ultrasound to see how the baby is doing. We were waiting for our turn for nearly 2 hours, and that was difficult because we were both tired, but the desire to know how our baby is doing gave us encouragement to wait. Finally the time came for the examination and it was exciting when the doctor said ¨there is the baby¨.

We looked at the baby, and the doctor was describing everything, and showed us where was the baby´s head, then hands and feet, and heart (it was very special to see the little heart pumping).

She said the baby is 10 weeks, and 39mm, and then she said that the baby is moving, and we were amazed to see that the baby was very active. The baby moved his/her hands and feet, and was turning itself. It was so good to see that.

Although the photos of the ultrasound did not come out very well, it was still good to see how the baby has grown and developed. Although you can not visualize it very well, we have the memories etched in our memory, and I can picture the baby moving. It was really very wonderful, and made me think that God is so powerful, because he can do such a great work. I had so much joy in my heart that I praised God for how big he is.

Well, the insurance company will start covering payment at the next appointment. I think those pictures will be better, and I want to show those pictures on the blog.

The doctor told me I have to be more careful, and not be too active. He said its good to rest, because she saw some bruises outside of the uterus, which are occurring because of the various activities I have been doing, but now I will be more careful.

The other day my sister Ruth told me that it´s good to talk and say good morning to the baby, and to say good night to the baby when it´s time to go to sleep. I told this to Tim, but last night he told the baby ¨buenos dias´, which is good morning. And then the other morning he told the baby ¨buenas noches¨, which is good night. I told my husband that the baby would be confused.

Later we have another appointment with a doctor, and she will be looking at the results from yesterday, and might tell me to go ahead and start taking the prenatal vitamins (up until now I´ve just been taking folic acid)

I hope that you have a good and calm today.

Update 2

I am glad to write again in our blog. I think that is something that I am wanting to do more often. Is that another effect of the pregnancy?... I really do not know, but I am also happy to read books and magazines, and especially the Bible.

For several days I was reading the book of 1 Samuel. Yesterday I read how David fought against Goliath, and won. I also read about Davids marriage to the daughter of King Saul and then about the difficulties they started having because of Saul´s jealously of David.

After I finished reading, I fell a sleep, and then I remember that I had a dream about one of the stories of David and Saul. The dream really was very exciting because it was a familiar story from the Bible, and so I did not want to wake up.

Well, thanks to God because today we had a good and special day in the church. My husband and family went to church early because there was a special celebration in the church for my father. There were many people in the church, including my family: five of my sisters, one brother, their spouses, and children. The only ones not there was my sister and her family who do not live nearby.

Some brothers and sisters of the church had prepared a special lunch, and the entire congregation ate in the church together. Many in the church know that Tim and I are expecting a baby. My husband and I were eating, and a sister from the church came, and gave me another plate of food, and so I was surprised, because I already had a plate of food. She gave me another plate because she knows I am now eating for two. It was surprising, but also special to know that they care about me, and the baby.

In the church there is a sister named Vilma, and she is 43 years old. She is a very nice woman. Today I was talking to her about the pregnancy. She has two daughters who are 15 and 17 years old, and she told me that she may be pregnant again. She will soon go to the doctor to see if she is pregnant, and she is very glad to think that she will have another baby. Her daughters told her that if she has another baby, that they will do everything (cooking, cleaning, etc), and then she can just focus on taking care of the baby. So she really likes that idea.

I am much better with the problems I was having with food and smell, and I am better from my cold.

I remember the days that I was having problems with odor; I asked my husband to please not use his cologne because I was very sensitive to odors. But I think I am about through that stage of my pregnancy, because today I ate without having any problems, and also a few days ago I asked my husband to use his cologne again, and I started wearing perfume again.

Monday morning I have an appointment with the doctor and I will have my second ultrasound. I very much want to see how the baby is doing, and wish to request that you pray that the baby is well.

Dear Janet and Rhonda, thank you for your comments on my last post. I really enjoyed reading your messages.