¨well done my good and faithful servant¨. -Matthew 25

Something I worry about a lot is if my life will follow the plan that God has for me. When I think about the future, that is what I want. Because I know that God has a great plan for my life, and also for your life. I know that God wants us to know him, and to love him. And also wants us to love others. I know that because Jesus says those are the two greatest commands: To love God with everything we have, and to love others. And I think that if I am wanting to follow Gods plan for my life, then I need that love. Because 1 Corinthians 13 says that I can do all sorts of work (including giving all I possess to the poor, and even being so gifted that I understand all mystery and all knowledge), but if I do not have love, then I am nothing. And not only that, but I can have faith, but without love, I am nothing.

And so I need love. My understanding is that without love, I can not be of much use to God. I guess that makes sense, because we should follow Christs example, and I know that he loves us a lot, because he even died for our sin, and only God knows the suffering that he went through.

You know, right now if I died, I know I would not be able to look God in the eye when I stood face to face with him. And I want that to change. And that is my prayer. When I die, and stand before God, I want him to say to me ¨well done my good and faithful servant¨. Those words would be music to my ears. But I am sure afraid that he won´t say that to me.

Here is my prayer: That God gives me a broken and compassionate heart. That I (and my wife) can do everything that God wants us to do, and complete the mission that he has for us. Oh how wonderful would that be!, to complete the mission that God has for me. I really want that. Because I am only here in this world for a short time, and when I die and begin my life in eternity, I don´t want to look back and think ¨I sure wish that things had been different, and would have had more love, and God could have used me in any and every way that he wanted¨. Here is what I want to be able to say, in the words of the Apostle Paul: ¨I have fought the good fight¨. He also said ¨I have kept the faith¨. Oh to be one of those that keep the faith, and fight the good fight. Paul went through beatings (once people thought they had stoned him to death, but he lived through it) He was shipwrecked I don´t remember how many times. He was cursed, and hated. He was put in prison, and although how he died is not recorded in the Bible, other writings say that he was killed in Rome. God wanted Paul to teach the non-Jewish people about Jesus Christ. That was his mission, and during his mission he went through all sorts of suffering. But I believe that Paul had learned to have joy in all situations. To be able to be content even when he was hungry, or without enough clothing, or in prison. I believe that all he needed was God. That was enough for him. And I hope that God makes me into one of those Christians.

You know I hear about Christians that are killed for their faith, and go through persecution that is so horrible. But it seems to me that those things are happening to the Christians that are refusing to compromise. They are not giving into the pressure and threats of the world, but they stay strong, and continue to do what God has for them to do. And many are persecuted and killed for that. If someone pointed a machine gun at me, and asked me if I believed in Jesus, what would I say? I could lie, and that might save my life, or I could say that I believe in Jesus, and be killed. And so many Christians have chosen to say yes, they believe in Jesus. They would rather die than to deny that they believe in Christ. Those are Christians that refuse to compromise, even if it means that they will lose their life. But like I have heard before from my good friend Jim, ¨the best thing that can happen to a Christian is to die¨. Matthew 10:28 says to not be afraid of those that can kill the body, but cannot kill the soul. I think that a lot of Christians have assurance of their salvation, and also have so much love for Jesus Christ that they are not afraid to die. And not only are they not afraid, but they wish for the day when they will die, and go to be with Christ.

But to be honest, I don´t want to be killed because of my faith, and for doing the work that God has for me to do. I don´t want to be persecuted, or to suffer. If I had it my way, I would skip all those things. But Jesus says that because he is hated, we also will be hated. And the Bible says that we must suffer like Christ suffered, so we can have glory like Christ has glory. And the Bible says to rejoice in our sufferings, because God uses our sufferings for good, and to change us, and make us more Christ-like.

But those sufferings I would rather skip. I wish that God could change me, without me having to go through any type of suffering. And when I say suffering, I don´t mean just the things that I mentioned about Paul. There is all sorts of different things. How about health problems, or watching a loved one suffer, or die. Or having difficulties at work, or at school, or even difficulties at home, and in a marriage. But God can use everything for our good. Although it is difficult, God can use it to actually help us.

The other day something happened that was really hard. And I know that God disciplined me. But God does not discipline like an abusive father, but like a loving one. And I know, because after he disciplined me, he comforted me. And I needed his comfort because I felt so guilty, and was really upset.

Our God is very good.

But here is a question that I have been asking myself. How can I follow in the path that God has for me? I know people have all sorts of answers for that. But I only have one, because I honestly don´t think I can accomplish it myself. I think that all I can do is pray. I pray that God accomplishes his plan for my life. I want to live a life of love, and helping others. I don´t want to live a life of being selfish, because I have done enough of that in the past. But I know that God hears my prayers. And I know that God can make me into a good servant. So if God has to take me through difficulties, and sufferings to make me into a good servant, then that is ok. I´m not saying I will enjoy it, but it is worth it. And I want Gods discipline. To be honest, I remember times that God disciplined me (and I actually recognized that it was his discipline) , and I have good memories of them :) That may sound weird, but it shows how loving is God, because he even disciplines us with love. The discipline of an abusive father will hurt his relationship with his child. But I know that God is a loving father, and I believe that his discipline has brought me closer to him.

So my answer is prayer. To pray that God uses my life however he wishes, and that he can use my life to accomplish whatever he wants, and to help whoever he wants. May God make me humble, and loving, and follow the path that he has for me. One thing I know for certain, I will never be a lone, because God is with me. Whatever difficulties or suffering is ahead of me, God will not leave me. He will be with me to guide me, and help me. Nothing can happen to me that God does not allow. God is our strength, and our comforter. He is very good.

p.s.... a special thanks to God for teaching me about the importance of love, and giving me the words to write this post.

4 months

The time passes quickly. Now the baby is a little bigger. At the last ultrasound, the doctor told us that the baby is doing fine. In July, Tim and I want to know if the baby is a girl or boy. But we have to wait atleast another month when the baby is bigger. Now I am feeling better. Some days I like to eat particular foods, especially fruit. But I don´t have the nausea after the meals anymore :)
I have a photo. I hope that you have a day calm and full of blessings.

A photo

Here is an updated photo.

Can you believe how big my belly is?

Actually my belly is not so big, but I think my sister Katherine can´t wait to see me that big, because she gave me a coffee cup with this picture on it. She told me that when she saw it in the store, she thought it looked just like me, and that she had to purchase it immediately. I really don´t understand how my sister thinks I am identical to the picture, especially because the drawing does not have much hair, and has skinny legs, and one foot is bigger than the other. It was really a very funny gift for all my family, myself, and my husband.

And I am so surprised to think that I am similar to the drawing.

The baby is growing!

Today in the morning before going to church, my mother looked at me and said ¨your belly is bigger¨. I smiled and said ¨yes, it is bigger¨.

After the meeting at the church, a young woman approached me. She was very happy and smiling and said, ¨your tummy is growing¨. And so I said ¨yes, it is true, the baby is getting bigger¨.

And then I went to my brother Paul´s house to help fix his computer, and he said to me, ¨oh!, your belly is bigger¨. And I told him, ¨yes, the baby is growing¨.
When I got home and we were having lunch, my sisters fiance Gustavo said ¨your belly is bigger!¨. I smiled and said, ¨yes, the baby is growing¨.

And my sister Katherine says to me, ¨your tummy is bigger!¨. I think possibly that for many days, or even more months, people will be telling me enthusiastically, ¨oh, your belly is bigger!¨.

And I like to hear it, because it reminds me that the baby is growing.

Maria Sue Chapman

If you have never heard of Steven Curtis Chapman, he is a famous christian singer/songwriter. He and his wife have six children, and the three youngest are all girls adopted from China.
From what I understand, Wednesday, the family was making preparations because, in just a few hours, they would be hosting a graduation celebration at the house for one of the oldest sons. The youngest daughter Maria (age 5) was in the driveway, and was accidently hit by a vehicle driven by an older teenage brother. She died wednesday night after being LifeFlighted. I know the family needs prayers, and I think especially for that son that was driving the vehicle. I am sure he feels that his sisters death is his fault, although it was an accident.
Below is a short video that Steven had made for an adoption blog. He is singing a song that his two youngest daughters had inspired him to write. I don´t know when he made the video, but it was before the accident happened. I think this song shows how God had been preparing Steven and his wife for this tragedy.

Here are the lyrics:

She spins and she sways to whatever song plays,
Without a care in the world.
And I'm sittin' here wearin' the weight of the world on my shoulders.
It's been a long day and there's still work to do,
She's pulling at me saying "Dad I need you!
There's a ball at the castle and I've been invited and I need to practice my dancin'"
"Oh please, daddy, please!"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh I will dance with Cinderella
I don't wanna miss even one song,
Cuz all to soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I'd approve of a dress
She says "Dad, the prom is just one week away,
And I need to practice my dancin'"
"Oh please, daddy, please!"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Ohh-oh ohh-oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't wanna miss even one song,
Cuz all to soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

Well, she came home today
With a ring on her hand
Just glowin' and tellin' us all they had planned
She says "Dad, the wedding's due six months away
And I need to practice my dancin'"
"Oh please, daddy please!"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Ohh-oh ohh-oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't wanna miss even one song,
(even one song)
Cuz all to soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone



The second video has Maria in it. She is such a sweet and precious little girl.

A trailer for the movie ¨Most¨.

From the producer of ¨The Passion of the Christ¨, comes this short film, ¨Most¨. All I can say after watching some trailers for this movie, is that it is absolutely incredible. An incredible story with a life changing message. I believe the movie is a little more than 30 minutes, and you can buy the DVD for $9.99 at http://mostthemovie.com/ (I haven´t seen the full film yet, but I REALLY want to)
And now, be ready to be moved, because here is the trailer:

Soldier Comes Home and Surprises Son.

Facing The Giants

The other night we watched Facing The Giants on DVD. What a wonderful movie! It is a Christian film, and on a scale of 1 to 10, I would give it a 10. It is a movie about a high school football team. In the movie, one of the things that the coach says is ¨whether we win or lose, we will give praise to God¨. So why I liked it so much is because it is not just another movie about an underdog team, but it is about God using this coach and team for His glory.
The movie is rated PG.

"As a coach, you always have that little block of doubt, insecurities, especially when things aren't going well. You hear people talking about you, you see boosters getting together. That hurts. On the outside, you have to be up, but on the inside, there's always a block of insecurity, a speck of a lack of confidence. That part of the movie was so real. And then seeing the coach turn to God, turn to the Bible to work through that. I could relate to that so much."
- Coach Dickey Nutt

How is your prayer life?

If your anything like me, then it is not good. I know there have been so many times I thought that God may be wanting me to stop what I was doing, and go to an empty room, and pray. And almost all of those times I ignored it, and continued to do what I wanted to do. Prayer is not easy for me. I think that satan has fought against my prayer life, and done a lot of damage. Often I feel guilty, and the last thing I want to do is to approach our Holy God. So all of you out there, know that you are not a lone. Countless Christians struggle with this. I think that the more I know Christ and love Him; the easier it is to pray to Him. A persons sinful nature fights against prayer. It is God who draws us to pray. Now I am beginning to realize the importance of prayer. Not to pray only for Gods blessing, but to pray for Christ Himself. To pray because we want to know Christ more, and to be transformed into His image. Truly we are nothing without Christ. Often I try to serve God when my prayer life is nothing. And my work is worthless! I do nothing good, because God is not in control of me.

Please read below. It is part of a speech that David Wilkerson spoke in 1982. Click here for the full speech. I know he is truly a man of God, and he practices what he preaches.

¨Our Savior, who has the care and concern for multiplied universes, has the time to pray just for you! He takes the time to intercede for you before the throne of God (Heb. 7:25), and you say you do not have time to pray to Him!

We work feverishly for a Christ we ignore. We will go anywhere, do anything, in His name. But we will not pray. We will sing in a choir. We will visit the sick and the prisoners. But we will not pray. We will counsel the hurt and needy; we will stay up all night to comfort a friend, but we will not pray. We will fight corruption! We will crusade for morality! We will stand up against nuclear weapons! But we will not pray!

Most of all, we don't pray because we really don't believe it works. Prayer is a bloody battleground! It is where victories are won! A place to die to self! A place where a holy God exposes secret sin! No wonder Satan tries to hinder prayer! A praying man sends a shudder through hell. That man or woman is marked because Satan knows prayer is the power that crushes his kingdom. Satan is not afraid of power-hungry saints, but he trembles at the sound of a praying saint!¨

Brian Welch, former lead guitarist for the rock band Korn.

ultrasound results

Yesterday, Tim and I went to the doctor to have an ultrasound to see how the baby is doing. We were waiting for our turn for nearly 2 hours, and that was difficult because we were both tired, but the desire to know how our baby is doing gave us encouragement to wait. Finally the time came for the examination and it was exciting when the doctor said ¨there is the baby¨.

We looked at the baby, and the doctor was describing everything, and showed us where was the baby´s head, then hands and feet, and heart (it was very special to see the little heart pumping).

She said the baby is 10 weeks, and 39mm, and then she said that the baby is moving, and we were amazed to see that the baby was very active. The baby moved his/her hands and feet, and was turning itself. It was so good to see that.

Although the photos of the ultrasound did not come out very well, it was still good to see how the baby has grown and developed. Although you can not visualize it very well, we have the memories etched in our memory, and I can picture the baby moving. It was really very wonderful, and made me think that God is so powerful, because he can do such a great work. I had so much joy in my heart that I praised God for how big he is.

Well, the insurance company will start covering payment at the next appointment. I think those pictures will be better, and I want to show those pictures on the blog.

The doctor told me I have to be more careful, and not be too active. He said its good to rest, because she saw some bruises outside of the uterus, which are occurring because of the various activities I have been doing, but now I will be more careful.

The other day my sister Ruth told me that it´s good to talk and say good morning to the baby, and to say good night to the baby when it´s time to go to sleep. I told this to Tim, but last night he told the baby ¨buenos dias´, which is good morning. And then the other morning he told the baby ¨buenas noches¨, which is good night. I told my husband that the baby would be confused.

Later we have another appointment with a doctor, and she will be looking at the results from yesterday, and might tell me to go ahead and start taking the prenatal vitamins (up until now I´ve just been taking folic acid)

I hope that you have a good and calm today.

Update 2

I am glad to write again in our blog. I think that is something that I am wanting to do more often. Is that another effect of the pregnancy?... I really do not know, but I am also happy to read books and magazines, and especially the Bible.

For several days I was reading the book of 1 Samuel. Yesterday I read how David fought against Goliath, and won. I also read about Davids marriage to the daughter of King Saul and then about the difficulties they started having because of Saul´s jealously of David.

After I finished reading, I fell a sleep, and then I remember that I had a dream about one of the stories of David and Saul. The dream really was very exciting because it was a familiar story from the Bible, and so I did not want to wake up.

Well, thanks to God because today we had a good and special day in the church. My husband and family went to church early because there was a special celebration in the church for my father. There were many people in the church, including my family: five of my sisters, one brother, their spouses, and children. The only ones not there was my sister and her family who do not live nearby.

Some brothers and sisters of the church had prepared a special lunch, and the entire congregation ate in the church together. Many in the church know that Tim and I are expecting a baby. My husband and I were eating, and a sister from the church came, and gave me another plate of food, and so I was surprised, because I already had a plate of food. She gave me another plate because she knows I am now eating for two. It was surprising, but also special to know that they care about me, and the baby.

In the church there is a sister named Vilma, and she is 43 years old. She is a very nice woman. Today I was talking to her about the pregnancy. She has two daughters who are 15 and 17 years old, and she told me that she may be pregnant again. She will soon go to the doctor to see if she is pregnant, and she is very glad to think that she will have another baby. Her daughters told her that if she has another baby, that they will do everything (cooking, cleaning, etc), and then she can just focus on taking care of the baby. So she really likes that idea.

I am much better with the problems I was having with food and smell, and I am better from my cold.

I remember the days that I was having problems with odor; I asked my husband to please not use his cologne because I was very sensitive to odors. But I think I am about through that stage of my pregnancy, because today I ate without having any problems, and also a few days ago I asked my husband to use his cologne again, and I started wearing perfume again.

Monday morning I have an appointment with the doctor and I will have my second ultrasound. I very much want to see how the baby is doing, and wish to request that you pray that the baby is well.

Dear Janet and Rhonda, thank you for your comments on my last post. I really enjoyed reading your messages.

Update

I imagine you have noticed the new change in our blog, and that is thanks to Rhonda. We really like the new template.

Today, Saturday May 3, is the birthday of my father, Santiago. He is 69 years old. Yesterday Tim wondered how old was my father, but I could not remember. I asked my father, and he said 69, and next year 70. I thank God for taking care of my father, and giving him strength.

I also wish to comment on my pregnancy. I often do not feel well, but I hear that is normal, especially in the first months of pregnancy. But I think I have not had the trouble that my sister Matilde had, who did not begin to feel better until the 7th month. I am only 9 weeks, and I do not know what I will go through. I wish very much for the 7th or 8th month.

My sisters tell me that the months pass by quickly, and to just be patient with it.

Now I am having some problems with some clothes that are not fitting me and soon I will have to get larger clothes. My husband and family want to see me with a big stomach, because that means the baby is almost here, and they can talk to and hold the baby.

I like to hear the stories that my mother and sisters have about when they were pregnant. It's good to hear those words because they help me.

The days when I had difficulties with food and smell were terrible, and now when I see women who are pregnant with a baby, I think: ¨they are brave¨. Because now I understand the process that a woman has to go through with the formation of the baby.

Here is the story of this week. I had a cold and was having problems with food and smell, which was really terrible because I could not work well and do other things that I wanted. One night my husband asked me to rub a cream on his back and it is a special cream for muscles. He told me that I should put a bit under my nose, and that would help me with my stuffed up nose. BUT I thought that he said that I should put a little cream in my nose. So after that I put cream on his back, and when I finished I had a little cream on my hands. I put a little in my nose and it was really terrible and my husband was surprised that I did that because he knew that it was painful, and so he helped me to be better. I think that day was the most difficult of all because various things happened to me, but the next day I felt better and today I am much better.

Yesterday I was reading a book about the creativity of parents in child development from the moment it is conceived to 10 years. I think that it is an interesting book and I now know some things that I did not know before and I want to put them into practice.

Jesus knew who these people were. He had just been with them the day before on the other side of the lake. Actually the day before they were a part of a crowd of more than five thousand who had come to see him. They had left their homes, and many walked a long distance to see him. And there Jesus performed a miracle. He fed them all. Jesus turned 5 loaves of barley bread, and 2 small fish into enough bread and fish to feed them all until they were full. Many in the crowd believed in Jesus because of this miracle.

And so the day after, some of these people thought that Jesus may have crossed the lake. And so they went across the lake in boats, and found Jesus there.

Jesus said to them ¨I tell you the truth, you aren´t looking for me because you saw me do miracles. You are looking for me because you ate the bread and were satisified¨. (John 6:26)

The reason these people were looking for Jesus is because they wanted more food. Jesus did not want people to seek him for merely bread and fish.

Jesus then says: ¨Don´t work for the food that spoils. Work for the food that stays good always and gives eternal life. The Son of Man will give you this food, because on him God the Father has put his power.¨ (John 6:27)

Jesus said to work for food that stays good, and gives eternal life. You may be wondering what is that work. I was wondering when I read these words from Jesus. I thought ¨well what work is required of us?¨.

And that is the same question these people asked Jesus. They asked ¨what are the things God wants us to do?¨ (John 6:28) Its a good question.

And Jesus gives the answer. Jesus said, ¨The work God wants you to do is this: Believe the One he sent¨. (John 6:29)

Well who is the one that God sent? Jesus is speaking about himself. Because the One that God sent was Jesus, God the Son.

And so the people said ¨What miracle will you do? If we see a miracle, we will believe you. What will you do? (John 6:30)

The funny thing is these people had witnessed the miracle the day before. They had seen how Jesus fed them, and more than 5,000 others. But here they ask for another miracle. Is it possible they are just wanting more bread and fish?

The people continued and said ¨our fathers ate the manna in the desert. This is written in the scriptures: ´He gave them bread from heaven to eat´¨ (John 6:31)

Then Jesus said, ¨I tell you the truth, it was not Moses who gave you bread from heaven; it is my Father who is giving you the true bread from heaven. God´s bread is the One who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world¨. (John 6:32-33)

The people said, ¨Sir, give us this bread always. ¨(John 6:34)

It seems that when the people hear the word ¨bread¨, that gets their attention, because that is what they are wanting. But they do not understand what Jesus is saying.

Then Jesus said, ¨I am the bread that gives life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you before, you have seen me and still don´t believe. The Father gives me my people. Every one of them will come to me, and I will always accept them. I came down from heaven to do what God wants me to do, not what I want to do. Here is what the One who sent me wants me to do: I must not lose even one who God gave me, but I must raise them all on the last day. Those who see the Son and believe in him have eternal life, and I will raise them on the last day. This is what my Father wants.¨ (John 6:35-40)

Some people began to complain about Jesus because he said, ¨I am the bread that comes down from heaven.¨ They said, ¨This is Jesus, the son of Joseph. We know his father and mother. How can he say, ´I came down from heaven´?¨ (John 6:41-42)

These people still did not believe in Jesus. They had seen a miracle, and heard him speak, but did not believe.

And this raises another question. What does it mean ¨to believe¨ in Jesus?

I think a good answer to this question is from another part of the book of John. It is when Jesus is speaking to a woman named Martha.

Jesus said to her, ¨I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me will have life even if they die. And everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Martha, do you believe this? (John 11:25-26)

Martha answered, ¨Yes, Lord. I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, the One coming to the world.¨ (John 11:27)

Or here is another example. Many of Jesus´followers had just left him, and stopped following him. And then Jesus asks his disciples a question.

Jesus asked the twelve followers, ¨Do you want to leave, too?¨ (John 6:67)

Simon Peter answered him, ¨Lord, where would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One from God.¨ (John 6:68-69)